Interview with Zane Deepcrusher

Interviewer: Yo, Zane! Thanks for taking the time to chat with me. You’re looking massive as ever—7’9”, 620 pounds, and that belly’s got some extra puff tonight! I hear it’s not always comfy to swim with it like that. How’re you feeling?

Zane: grins smugly, flexing a 32-inch bicep, then pats his belly with a slight grimace Yo, I’m feeling like the king of the trenches, but yeah, this belly’s a bit of a pain right now. Just had a big mackerel feast—ate way too much, haha. It’s bloated up to like 5.5 feet, and when it gets this bulky, swimming’s not comfy at all. Feels like I’m dragging a boulder around! Still helps with buoyancy, but I gotta wait for the bloating to chill before I’m back to ruling the currents. You here to talk about my greatness or what?

Interviewer: Haha, you know it! Let’s start with your roots. You were born in the Abyssal Trenches, right? How’d growing up there shape who you are now?

Zane: Oh yeah, the Abyssal Trenches—dark, crushing, no food for miles. I was born there on August 15, 1995, and it made me tough from the get-go. By my teens, I was 6’5”, 280 pounds of pure muscle, hunting in the dark like it was nothing. The pressure down there? It’s brutal, but it built me—made me strong, made me hungry to be more. That’s what pushed me to train harder when I got to Seaside Haven in 2023.

Interviewer: Speaking of training, you’ve got some serious muscle—biceps at 32 inches, pecs at 36, thighs at 44! And that belly—4.5 feet normally, but you can make it bigger, right? How’d you get to this point?

Zane: leans back, belly jiggling slightly All natural, my friend! Years of swimming against killer currents and hauling coral blocks in the deep got me jacked. My muscles just kept growing—had to, to survive the abyss. The belly’s a sharkman thing; it’s medium soft, kinda firm, but I can puff it up whenever I want, sometimes over 5 feet just to show off. Plus, when I eat too much—like tonight—it bloats up on its own. It’s at 5.5 feet now, all cushy, but you can still see my abs underneath if I flex hard. Helps me store energy, but yeah, when it’s this big, it’s bulky and slows me down a bit till it settles.

Interviewer: That’s wild! You mentioned eating—love that you brought up the mackerel. What’s your go-to diet and training routine for keeping this titan physique?

Zane: smirks, patting his bloated belly I eat big, man—gotta fuel this machine! I go for fatty fish like mackerel, tons of it, keeps me bulked and ready for action. I also munch on seaweed wraps for stamina—nature’s energy boost down here. Training-wise, I swim against the toughest currents every day, sometimes for hours, and I move coral chunks to keep my strength up. If you wanna bulk up like me, that’s the way—swim hard, lift heavy, eat like a shark. Just don’t overdo the fish like I did tonight, or you’ll be waddling through the water too, haha! Stick with me, and I’ll show you the moves, but you gotta keep up with my pace!

Interviewer: I’ll keep that in mind! You’re a deep-sea guardian here in Seaside Haven, protecting the reefs. What’s that like, and how does your body help you in that role?

Zane: It’s the best gig in the ocean. I patrol the underwater caves and reefs every day, keeping the ecosystem in check—chasing off predators, fixing coral damage, you name it. My size scares off most threats; one look at my 620 pounds and this belly, and they swim the other way! laughs Normally, the belly’s great—it keeps me buoyant in the deep, so I can float around without burning too much energy, and it stores fuel for sudden sprints when I need to move fast. But when it’s bloated like this, it’s more of a hassle—too bulky to be comfy. My muscles do the heavy lifting—literally. I can move boulders that’d crush a regular sharkman. I’m basically an elemental down here, made by the ocean to rule it.

Interviewer: You’ve got that smug vibe down pat, but I hear you’re pretty friendly too. You’re cool with selfies, belly rubs, even training folks. What’s it like connecting with the Seaside Haven crew?

Zane: grins wide, showing sharp teeth Oh, I’m the coolest sharkman around, don’t let the smirk fool ya! I love the Seaside Haven crew—guys like Marcus Reefguard are solid, we compete in speed races all the time. When folks swim up for selfies or a quick belly rub, I’m all in—I’ll strike a pose that’ll make the fish jealous, haha! Training others is my jam too; I’ve got no problem showing newbies the ropes, long as they can handle my pace. The more of us out here ruling the sea, the better. My domain’s big enough for all of us, but I’m still the top shark—don’t forget that!

Interviewer: Haha, no forgetting that! Last question—what’s next for Zane Deepcrusher? Any big plans?

Zane: flexes both arms, belly wobbling I’m just gonna keep being the titan of the trenches, man. More patrols, more competitions—I’ve got my eye on a strength showdown with some of the bigger sharkmen this summer. Maybe I’ll push this belly to 6 feet, really freak ‘em out! laughs Nah, but for real, I’m here to keep the ocean balanced and show everyone what a sharkman can do. Stick around Seaside Haven—you’ll see me making waves, literally!

Interviewer: Can’t wait to see that! Thanks for the chat, Zane—you’re a legend down here!

Zane: winks, tail flicking Anytime, buddy. Now let’s see if you can swim back to the surface without me saving ya—kidding! Catch ya later!